This is about those I loved. Maybe the love has left us and maybe they were taken from us. We still carry them in our heart because of the Love we have for them.
We have all felt love for a partner in one way or the other, which has just faded or disappeared over time, or even taken from us by death. Or this love got killed because of the behaviour of this loved one. We all feel despair and maybe at times even think that we reached the end of the world. With Dreams being crushed like a Crystal vase. Hopes were taken from us which we thought would never die. Some of us falling into a pit that is so deep that it seems to be impossible to get out of again. We fight demons, and harden our heart, locking us even further away so that we will not feel this pain again or fall for someone ever again.
My first true love was found when I was five.
I had no needs, no cravings yet, but my heart was ready to give.
With five you think there is not much besides your food and bed,
But I had found the one true Love in Olaf my first real friend.
In kinder garden was I his guard, no one was allowed to do him harm,
I followed and protected him, he made my soul sing a hymn.
Back than it was a hymn of sound, it was never meant to sing.
He made me laugh, and made me smile, he was one of a kind in his style.
At the age of seven we went to school, and I was still his very tool.
The tool to protect and to shelter him, from all those who would fail him.
He was blond and blue eyed with a tender smile oh so bright.
We were long married at this age, and thought we found our page.
The page were we would write our life, we didn't know what was ahead.
The future seemed bright, we talked of children and home,
when I was nine he kissed me tight, the memory has never died.
I felt his lips and tongue on mine, I close my eyes today and still taste him in my mind.
When ten I thought our life would never end, We were happy in our land.
Dark clouds were rising far from us, we didn't know, we lived a blast.
The news hit us hard, I had to move, thousand of miles away
the day had come, it broke my heart, the day I had to go astray.
We were not twelve yet, had only ten days, for the farewell of our hearts,
the day was born and I will remain and know to the centre of my core
I am today who I was never before.
Sep. 1989
In the following years I had no interest in boys.Then there was Thorsten in 1991 and I still have his first and only love letter to me. I was a teenager now, but I was still clinging to my first love who was far away, I had no eyes for anyone else. But as for this young man Thorsten, I now realise that he was just being used by me. Used as a companion needed by me so much that I may not be alone in this strange new place I was forced to move to. In 1994 I met Ralph. He was not a good man but he was the reason why I left home and security. Being 18 years older than me, I was kind of flattered for his interest in me. The whole story can be read in some other place later. Then in 1999 I met Him. Valdet. The only man I was ever married to.
I am today who I was never before.
And today I am alone, I feel not free, I am here but no one is with me. Can I speak to you of him? Will you listen carefully?
This is about the one true Love that can be found.
When Valdet crossed my path, the sky turned blue at once.
The stars were brighter than I've ever seen.
You see, I'd never stopped to wonder why it was that millions of women all over creation weren't seeing him and instantly falling in love with him,
worshipping his body and mind and soul and spirit as I wanted too. It never occurred to me until five years after I met him,
that maybe lots of women wouldn't have thought he is gorgeous, smart and high spirited. Maybe he only seemed so gorgeous to me because
- and this is the real shocker -
his face came alive when I walked in front of it.
The pure Love that I felt for him could no one take away but HIM.
So many told me "Stay away! He is not good for you!" ,
but Love can not be found if you walk away.
Many wonderful years we shared till it was time to go.
Now I wish that everyone can share this one true Love just once or even more.
If you are one that believes that Love happens just once,
please listen and understand Love can happen again.
Sep. 2005
And today I am alone, I feel not free, I am here but no one is with me. Can I speak to you of him? Will you listen carefully?
This is about the one true Love that can be found.
When Valdet crossed my path, the sky turned blue at once.
The stars were brighter than I've ever seen.
You see, I'd never stopped to wonder why it was that millions of women all over creation weren't seeing him and instantly falling in love with him,
worshipping his body and mind and soul and spirit as I wanted too. It never occurred to me until five years after I met him,
that maybe lots of women wouldn't have thought he is gorgeous, smart and high spirited. Maybe he only seemed so gorgeous to me because
- and this is the real shocker -
his face came alive when I walked in front of it.
The pure Love that I felt for him could no one take away but HIM.
So many told me "Stay away! He is not good for you!" ,
but Love can not be found if you walk away.
Many wonderful years we shared till it was time to go.
Now I wish that everyone can share this one true Love just once or even more.
If you are one that believes that Love happens just once,
please listen and understand Love can happen again.
Sep. 2005
After he had gone and I was left alone in the world, I thought I would never live again. This Love was so deep in me, I was almost at the point that I lost myself in her. Now that he was gone, taken from my side, I thought I was close to dying. I stayed single for the next years. I didn't allow any man to get close to me. When I decided to put myself out again, meeting with old friends, finding new friends, I didn't expect to get hit by Love so hard again. But there he was in all his charm and glory. Jimmy crossed my life with a force I never thought a man can own. It was August 2008 when I used the words "I love you" again.
I am today who I was never before.
Years have past and I risked it again. The one true Love was found again.
Jimmy was pure of Heart and high in Spirit. His love for me had no limit.
I turned to him and followed his call. Today there is left one cold wall.
I do not regret the time we had, my heart was broken, but I am not sad.
I am today who I was never before, he taught me a great deal of sore.
Those weeks and months and even years we shared, I would not trade for any worth.
This time taught me a wonderful deal, the heart is fragile but it will heal.
August 2009
Today I am who I was never before. My heart beats fast while I look for you my one true Love. ........
to be continued as life goes on
Years have past and I risked it again. The one true Love was found again.
Jimmy was pure of Heart and high in Spirit. His love for me had no limit.
I turned to him and followed his call. Today there is left one cold wall.
I do not regret the time we had, my heart was broken, but I am not sad.
I am today who I was never before, he taught me a great deal of sore.
Those weeks and months and even years we shared, I would not trade for any worth.
This time taught me a wonderful deal, the heart is fragile but it will heal.
August 2009
Today I am who I was never before. My heart beats fast while I look for you my one true Love. ........
to be continued as life goes on